News!

My birthday happened. So glad all of you sent presents, cards, and comments on Feb. 27!

That was sarcasm.
I can't believe my parents picked up the subtle hints that I wanted a cookie-cake (after all, I only scribbled it into their day-planners, burnt the words 'I WANNA COOKIE-CAKE' into the side of the house, and hired the Goodyear blimp to fly over bearing the banner 'LUCAS WANTS A FRIGGIN COOKIE-CAKE YOU MORONS')
And here's my new business-card!

Grimm Happenings is my new project. A book-project. Because Legendary recently was drenched in gas, set on fire, and dropped from the Empire State Building (to be scattered along America's coast the next day) by the hideous goblins that are "mid-write editing".
Grimm Happenings is about a British boy (Eli) who just moved to America and is finding he has strange powers. Some of his classmates and teachers (Mr. Batton and the ever-so-hot Angela) seem to know something they aren't telling, and some classmates (like Trevor) seem to unknowingly be part of that something. That's all I'll reveal for now.
Also, I (and by that I mean my dad) am renovating my den. From (dog-pee-covered) carpet (that refuses to be washed) to beautiful tile. Woo!
B.t.w. I noticed no entries were submitted for my art contest. My friend Will is an artist and (yes, I know, he's a judge, but I told him he could submit one if he didn't vote on it) he didn't even submit. (Maybe I should have told him louder. Note to self: Buy megaphone.) I'm giving a redemptive period of until May 15. Then I'll vote (if anyone submits art). Click on the art contest label to see the rules.
I won't be doing very many posts til "HERA: The Goddess and her glory" comes out. Awesome, right?
Expect a Myth-Talk (super-long) about Dionysos (I call him D) soon.
Comment!

Myth Talk! JP's picks, part 2

So Iason sailed to Kolkhis, where the Golden Fleece was, and after dealing with Kokhis' psycho-king Aietes, he left Kolkhis with not only the Golden Fleece but also a smokin'-hot, sorceress for a wife. The sorceress, Medeia, is madly in love with Iason, and is Aietes' daughter. She has risked her life twice to save Iason, but hey, third time's the charm. Or the fourth. Or fifth. Let's just say she's gonna do anything to protect him. So when the Argonauts get caught in a detour near Krete, she's sadly aware of what happens next. Talos, spotting the ship (his psycho-senses are tingling!), begins hurling boulders at it. (Welcome to Krete. Over there is the fabulous palace of Knossos, and over there is the psychopathic, bronze giant trying to brutally sink your ship. Come back soon... if you're still alive, that is) Medeia hurriedly shouts to Iason, "Quick! We have to get someone on Talos' rock! Talos has only one vein in his body! And his only weak spot is his right heel! We have to stab his heel to kill him!" Amidst the screaming and steering, one man volunteers: the armor-bearer Poias, who is practically a boy. At first the entire crew disagrees, but what's better to speed up a desicion than 10-foot boulders whizzing right past your head? It is agreed, and tiny Poias sneaks off the ship with Herakles' bow and arrows and readies himself behind a tree nearby Talos. The ship is sailed to the other side of Krete and pulls into the shadow of Mt. Ida, so that Talos will not see them. Medeia advances seductively toward our bronze psychopath, who is soon under her distracting charms. Just as Medeia cuddles in close to whisper smeet promises into Talos' Obama-shaming ear, Poias springs upon the giant's unguarded ankle and shoots the arrows through the weak metal. The entire heel bursts open as Talos screams, writhing in agony. Medeia, Poias and the Argonauts watch as golden ichor (god-blood) splashes and froths onto the beach. The metal collapses on itself, and soon a wet scrap heap is all that's left of Talos.

Poias is honored as a hero for the rest of the day, and Medeia might've been mad that she wasn't being given much credit, if it hadn't happened that Iason had been there to comfort her (and, if you wish, you may take that to mean he told her to brighten up before they dumped water on her... 'I'm melting... melting!').

Poias later married and had a son, Philoktetes (not the satyr from Disney's Hercules!) who fought in the Troian War. He even was said to have fought alongside the great Odysseus, who just happens to be our last character. It was Odysseus who came up with the idea of the Troian Horse, a gigantic wooden horse statue, which was used to trick the people of Troy into practically welcoming the Greek Army into their city. The Greeks defeated the Troians, but upon leaving Troy did not give any sacrifices or thanks to the Gods for helping them. So Zeus and Poseidon struck the Greek ships with a massive hurricane, blowing all of them onto different courses. Odysseus and his ships were blown far out to Lamos, the land of the Laistrygonians, cannibal-giants. These giant destroyed all the ships but one, which was carrying Odysseus, and this ship mades its way through what is now called the Odyssey, or Adventure of Odysseus. Along this odyssey, Odysseus met and battled the one-eyed Cyclops Polyphemos, the generous-yet-superstitious wind-god Aiolos, the seductive witch Circe, the evil-yet-hypnotic Syrens, the monstrous Skylla-and-Kharybdis, and the vengeful Sun-god Helios. When Odysseus' men made a terrible mistake and ate some sacred cattle, Helios had Zeus unleash another hurricane, one that killed the men, but spared the innocent Odysseus. Odysseus washed up on Ogygia, the remote island of the lovesick goddess Kalypso. Kalypso, madly in love with Odysseus, kept him with her for 9 years. Meanwhile, Odysseus' wife, Queen Penelope of Ithaka, pines for him, while suitors trying to convince her Odysseus is dead plague her and Odysseus' son Telemakhos, who vainly tries to find Odysseus. When Hermes has Kalypso release Odysseus and Odysseus this time is washed up on the Island of the Phaiakians, the Phaiakians treat him well and send him home on a real ship.

(featured in the above picture are, counterclockwise from bottom-right, Odysseus, Circe, Syrens, Skylla-and-Kharybdis)

Odysseus reaches Ithaka, and with help from Telemakhos and some loyal subjects, he sneaks into the palace unnoticed. Penelope, trying to calm the suitors, has come up with a plan: the first suitor to string Odysseus' bow and shoot with it through 12 holes in a row, gets to marry her. (It just so happens that the bow is deformed so that the string is too short and thus only someone of incredible strength or brainpower can string the bow. Odysseus has both strength and brainpower.) Odysseus, disguised as a beggar, steps up after watching all the suitors fail at the task. He is able to string the bow and shoot through the holes with more grace and ease than Julie Andrews at a tea party. The suitors are angered, and after revealing who he really is, Odysseus, along with Telemakhos and the faithful subjects, kills all the suitors. Penelope and Odysseus are free to live happily ever after until they die.

Myth Talk! JP's picks, part 1

In case you didn't know, those three things up in the title are in different myths than each other, though all are cross-linked in one way: they all have to do with water-fare.

Recently JP (for more on him you can read the first episode of George O'Connor's segment Fan Art Forum) sent me word about his three favorite myths (among other things having to do with my book LEGENDARY) which happened to be: (in order of mythological timelining) The Second Labour of Herakles, The Adventure of Iason and Talos, and the Odyssey (JP's picture of Odysseus is on the earlier-mentioned episode on George O'Connor's blog).

So to start off this three-in-one segment, I'm going to tell you about the interview I had with the Hydra...

Me: So Mr... Hydra? is it?

Hydra: Rooaarr.

Me: Oh you're a missus... honest mistake... no! Bad Hydra! No eating the camera-man.

Hydra. Roah-Rooaar? Roaarr!

Me: Okay... so... who were you're parents? Typhon and Ekhidna? And who exactly were they? Oh, okay... so lemme get this straight, your daddy, Typhon, he was 600 km high, breathed lava, had 100 heads, some of which were animal-like, had wings, had six monstrously gigantic snakes for legs and snake heads for fingers, and was able to lift Mt. Aitna in Sicilia without breaking a sweat. Eh, I've seen worse. And then you're mother, Ekhidna, was a beautiful nymph with a snake-tail instead of legs. [the correct name for that is "drakaina" (pronounced dray-keh-na)] Oh really, so you have the ability to grow two heads for every one head that is injured or destroyed. Fascinating.

Hydra: Roah-Roah-Roar? ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAR!

Me: No, you cannot eat me. Oh no! Not again! (dives behind chair as Hydra breathes acidic gasses)

Now, back to the story. You know Herakles? That ultra-strong guy with a thing for lionskins? Yeah, remember how he was driven insane by his stepmother Hera so that he killed his wife and kids and that when he came to he went to the Oracle of Delphi, correctly reffered to as the Pythia, and asked what he needed to do to gain back the gods' favor but thew Pythia didn't answer so Herakles tried to force her but Apollon appeared and told him what to do in person and Herakles had to go to his evil cousin King Eurystheus of Tiryns to apply for a 10-year job to reconcile but Eurystheus had other plans and made him do 10 (give-or-take a couple) labours, the second of which was to kill the Hydra. Oh, you didn't remember that... Well now you do!

So Herakles gets his nephew Iolaus, and they ride down to Lerna, the swamp-home of the Hydra. Herakles had Iolaus tie a thin sheet of tissue around his nose (the first gas-mask!) in order that Iolaus doesn't die if the aforementioned poison-breath of the Hydra is breathed in. Herakles is strong enough to handle it, though. As Iolaus sets up a campfire, Herakles begins shooting arrows into the swamp to coax out our scaly friend. As the Hydra rises from the swamp, the battle begins. The fighting is hard to do, because of the whole two-heads-grow-back rule, until Iolaus gets an idea. Fetching a torch, he follows Heracles carefully, and every time Herakles bashes a head, Iolaus (get ready for this!) sets the neck aflame so that the growing Hydra heads are charred and killed. This is repeated until an angry Hera sends the Hydra's sidekick into action. Who's the Hydra's sidekick? Oh just you're typical, run-o'-the-mill, 4 FOOT, MAN-EATING CRAB!!! The crab scuttles up to Herakles and in a (one-millesecond-long) bloodthirsty battle to the death!: Herakles steps on the crab and kills it. Yep. Just that easy. He just jumps onto the crab and squishes it like a cockroach. It must be fun being a demigod.

So this whole bash-n-char method keeps going until finally there's only one head left. The middle one. No big deal, right? Wrong. Because the middle head just happens to be IMMORTAL AND INVINCIBLE!! So in another (millesecond-long) bloody battle to the death: Herakles topples a mountain onto the Hydra and burys it, head and all, alive. To this day though, you can apparently still see venomous vapor pour out from under the rock. Herakles dipped his arrows in the Hydra's blood, which just-so-happened to be incredibly poisonous. He went back with Iolaus, and later joined the Argonauts, a band of heroes led by the hero Iason to find the Golden Fleece.

Now Iason had to get the Golden Fleece, but you'll never guess why... No not for his mother's freedom, like Perseus... no, not as punishment, like with Herakles... Give up? Okay: he did it for the heck of it. I know, I know, modern versions say he got for his uncle Pelias because Pelias said he'd make him king of Iolkos if he did, but no... ancient sources do agree that he got it for Pelias, but they mention absolutely NOTHING about Pelias promising to make him king. In fact, all sources agree the real reasons behind Pelias sending him there was because he hoped Iason would die on the way. But ancient sources don't say anything about Pelias coaxing him into it with a false promise. No, sirree. Iason did it for pretty much the heck of it. And no offense but I like that! Most heroes in mythology have a reason to go off and save damsels and slay dragons, like they have to for their parents or they have to as punishment... but not Iason. He became a hero FOR NO REASON WHATSOEVER. I like that.

But back to the whole Talos-story: Talos, just so you know, was a ginormous bronze statue created by the god Hephaistos to guard the island of Krete. Talos stood up on a large rock near Krete, looking out to the horixon like a giant security guard. What was so special about Talos. Oh, just that he was an automaton. As in, he was a bronze statue THAT WAS ALIVE. Now when I say alive bronze statue I don't mean those cheap looking robots you see in movies and one TV that only look similar to a person. Now, I mean a real, living, humanoid, 1000 foot person made of bronze. As in he looked exactly like a normal, everyday, 1000-ft-tall human would, but he was shiny. Oh yes, and did I mention he was psychopathic?

MythTalk: Daidalos and Ikaros

Time for yet another installment of:

Daidalos and Ikaros

To grasp the tale of Ikaros and Daidalos, we must grasp first the story of Minos. In my last installment, you found out about Minos' cruelty toward Skylla after she evilly killed her father to help him. In short, Minos was not nice. He had an entire fleet of ships in his navy, which took down everything in their path. As king of Krete, Minos was surrounded by water, which makes it seem stupid that when Poseidon, god of water, gave him a magical white bull to be sacrificed, Minos disobeyed commands and kept the bull as a pet. Poseidon wasn't happy. So he came up with a plan.

Meanwhile, in Athens lived an inventor named Daidalos. Daidalos was the wisest man alive, and was able to design boats that never sank, tools that could flatten mountains, and statues that looked alive. But that was nothing compared to Daidalos' nephew, Talos. Talos was only a small boy, yet knew how to ivent tools that flattened forests in a day, statues that were almost really alive, and design houses that were indestructable. Daidalos hated him.

So when Talos fell off the roof of Athene's temple, Daidalos had to flee for his life because of the severe suspicions people had. Daidalos fled to Krete, and fell into the services of Minos. And Minos' wife Pasiphae grew an attraction to him. Maybe Daidalos noticed them, those subtle gestures Pasiphae made: a wink, a smile, a hair-toss. And then she one day approached his shop and told him a secret.

Poseidon had made Eros shoot Pasiphae with a love arrow. And now Pasiphae was in love...with the Kretan Bull Poseidon had given. Daidalos was horrified, but had to obey her commands: for him to make a hollow cow statue so she could be with the bull. The rouse worked... but too well. The bull mounted Pasiphae as she sat in the tiny statue. What happened next is too horrible and abominable to imagine, but in nine months Pasiphae gave birth to a hideous creature with a bull's head, a shark's teeth, and a man's body and strength: The Minotauros.

So Daidalos recieved another assignment... this time from Minos: To build an underground prison, so winding and narrow and trap-filled that any who entered became lost and unescapable in seconds. As Daidalos expected, the Minotauros was put inside. But what Daidalos didn't expect was worse: because his son was accidentally killed while in Athens, Minos proceeded to force Athens to send seven boys and seven girls, all virgins, to Krete every nine years to be left in the maze, the Labyrinth, to either starve or be found and mauled and eaten by the Minotauros.

But Daidalos then made a huge mistake. He tried to leave Krete. But he knew too much. So Minos wouldn't allow it. He locked Daidalos in his workshop and put guards at the docks to watch for Daidaos and his son Ikaros and make sure they didn't leave. That wasn't enough to stop Daidalos. He gathered millions of feathers, and jars full of wax and honey. He mixed all of it together, all the while building frames of sturdy lumber. And when everything, the feathers, wood, honey, and wax, were compiled, there were two pairs of giant wings, big enough for men. The day he finished, Daidalos hooked one pair to his clumsy son Ikaros. He hugged the boy, and said, "Leave. Follow me from Krete. Don't go to high, or too low. Remember that my son. Remember." And once Daidalos had his wings, they both jumped from the cliffs of Knossos. Up they flew, Daidalos steady and watching, Ikaros clumsy and swift. Ikaros felt pride, and began flapping higher and higher.

Then the Sun proved Daidalos' warnings true. The wax and honey holding everything together melted in the growing heat, and everything crumbled. Ikaros fell, and Daidalos saw him fall. The boy seemed to fall so long Daidalos thought Ikaros was flying without wings. But the sea below caught up to Ikaros, enveloped him, and killed him. And Daidalos was forced to have to fly on, unable to go low or he would drown also. He landed at Sicily, hung the wings in Apollon's temple, and went into the service of King Kokalos there.

Minos later arrived, searching for Daidalos, and the inventor's wisdom allowed him to be found when he answered the king's unanswerable riddle. Minos prepared to drag Daidalos back to Krete, preparing for a celebration feast, preparing with a bath in Sicily's new bathhouse. He didn't know Daidalos was there, or that Daidalos had designed the bathhouse. Daidalos poured a mixture composed of boiled poisons and venoms in the pipes, the exact ones entering Minos' private bath. Minos shriveled as the mixture hit him, and was was found of him later was nothing but dusty bones.

And so Daidalos fell from grace, falling even deeper and farther than his son. Before he died, a man visiting his workshop found it filled with miniature statues, statues of a boy with wings, millions of them, crafted by one inventor: a man who had loved, a man who had hated, and a man who died alone and depressed.

(stay tuned for art)

Myth-Talk

Welcome to my first installment of:

Ask me about your fave myth, (in comments, of course) and it could end up on here (with sketchs and such). My friend Will (you heard about him if you read one of my first posts which I later deleted because I felt it made me look just a little bad talking about myself an entire post) reminded me of one which I think we'll do today.

Nisos and Skylla

When King Minos of Krete was young, he set siege on the city of Megara, which was at that time ruled by the invincable Nisos and his daughter Skylla. Nisos was son of the war-god Ares (below) and had a wonderful secret that made him invincable against any opponent.

So, of course, Minos stood no chance. At least until Nisos' daughter fell in love with him. Skylla began to spend her days dreaming of Minos, absolutely captivated by his beauty and strength. So she, the duplitive big-mouth she was, told Minos Nisos' secret: Nisos had a lock of deep purple hair on his head, which gave him his wonderful strength. And then Skylla took it a bit too far. That night, she crept upon Nisos, and snipped off his purple lock. He became so weak instantly that he shriveled up and died on the very spot. Skylla, overjoyed, ran to Minos to tell him the "good" news. But Minos was horrified. He had never intended to even kill Nisos, just take over the city. So he called his guards, and as he stood on the cliffs watching, he had Skylla thrown into the sea. Skylla beat against the water to keep alive, but as she did, news began spreading like wild fire across Megara: King Nisos' body was missing.

Meanwhile, Skylla swam toward the cliffs, ready to grab onto the rocks and pull herself up, when out of thin air soared a sea-eagle, swooping and ducking: the transformed spirit of Nisos. The eagle swooped and dug its claws into her arms. Skylla let go and plummetted into the water. The eagle forced her underwater, and as bubbles rose about her, she became the ciris, the bird that always flees the sea eagle's approach, always in fear of its father-eagle's wrath.

Well, there's the story of Skylla and Nisos, the explanation for the ciris bird in Greek Myth. Stay tuned for more later!